knowthyexits | (no subject)

Sarah hadn't been sure about coming back to work, but now that she's finished a shift, she's more determined than ever to go about normalcy. If she can force her way back into it, maybe she can pretend to be like anyone else -- though she's quickly beginning to realize that everyone here is their own shade of abnormal. At the moment, she prays for something abnormal to deal with.

Her biggest concerns revolve around a man and medical treatments.

They're so normal that she wants to rip the island apart to look for a threat. Still, it's good to have something to occupy her mind. It keeps her thoughts away from John and her thoughts of what he's doing now. She's sure that with Derek and Cameron, he's well-capable of coping, but she misses him. She misses her son, she misses the one person in her life that she loves more than anything in the world.

Sarah takes a plate of food for herself and one for Sookie, grabbing drinks from Trixa before she heads to a table in the corner, grateful for a post-shift moment to compose her thoughts. "Here," she offers, extending the glass. "It's not alcoholic. I figured if I'm not drinking, I should make you miserable by giving you juice, too," she says, with a soft (yet tense) smile.

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"Oh, you bet I am," Sookie confirms with a soft nod, not sure if it's the right thing to do, to pressure Sarah into a choice that she's not necessarily the biggest fan of. From the limited amount she's read about cancer and the effect it has on people, most of hte success seems to be found in people who have convinced themselves that they can make it. In this kind of long-term disease, more than anything else, what Sookie knows is that outlook does matter. Getting Sarah to the treatment seems to be the first step, but she's not naive enough to think that it'll be enough. Sookie still needs to convince Sarah of it.

"If you really thought that shying from the treatment would be the best thing to do, you... wouldn't have come to me at all, y'know," Sookie pointed out softly.

Sarah arches her brow knowingly, giving Sookie a look that says she's been expecting this. It's true that a part of her doesn't want to do this, but she's always been like this. As much as she hates something, she knows she'll force herself there eventually, especially if she has the nudge of a friend. "You know, it's sad," she admits. "But between Cal and the cancer, I'm not sure which is harder to talk about. Don't tell him I said that."

She takes the statement as a good sign. Sookie never wants for Sarah to feel forced out of a choice, but when it comes to this, there's no ideal. There's no way to make everything right, no way to make everyting perfect again; there's only compromise, and being able to prioritize everything in the right way. Above Sarah's comfort comes her well-being. Because once Sarah's well and healthy again, everything else... it can be worked towards. Sookie finds herself believing that. Finds herself needing to.

So she smiles, blinking and offering a small nod.

"Cal's... a trial in the best of times, I know. I've been there, and ended up losin' patience before it could really even go anywhere," she agrees with a soft sigh and a conceding nod. "But you should really go with what you want for this one, Sarah. That's the thing about love. I don't think logic really applies, I think the rules are best thrown aside completely."

"Right now," Sarah says tiredly, poking her fork around her plate of food and wishing she had more of an appetite. It's hard when all she can think about is what's to come and how it's going to take her body and make it weak. "I don't know, Sookie, right now, I think that all I want is to wake up and not feel as weak as I do. I want to be able to wake up and pretend that the day isn't going to be an uphill battle."

"Every day is an uphill battle, Sarah," she replies quietly, not sure if her next words will help or hurt, though she believes in them with every fiber of her being. Believes in them more now, after everything that's happened, both on the island and off. Believes in it every time she wakes with that same fatigue still resting somewhere in her chest. Maybe it's just been lately, a part of her wants to think, maybe it's just been lately that things seem to have hit her one after the other. But another knows that it's only the tip of the iceberg, that the weight won't start letting up anytime soon.

And she hates knowing that. More than anything else, she hates having her optimism taken away.

"But... you know, that also means that this is just a hurdle like any other. It's hard, I know, and it isn't something you can directly fight, but you can get over it just like you can any other threat. You've just gotta stay strong. Gettin' better in mind and body is always about staying strong, digging your heels in when you feel like everything's falling apart."