knowthyexits | (no subject)

She's an idiot.

Sarah's been reiterating this again and again, but nonetheless, she's here. She's here and she's even put on decent clothes for this blind date that a crazy woman set up. Insanity may have been prevalent in the whole process, but she still finds herself curious as to what kind of man she'll be meeting tonight. Her thoughts stray always to Reese and to Charley and how they were both good men trying to fight to make the world better.

The men she's met here seem the same, but she's not exactly a great prize considering everyone else is at least twenty years younger and far more attractive than she can ever muster. She can clean up nicely enough, but pry away the clothes and all there's left is scars and shrapnel and proof of her war.

Still, here she is in a pair of good jeans and a decent top, hands awkwardly shoved in her pockets as she waits for this mysterious man. The added fact that they're at the Winchester doesn't help. This is her workplace. This is where she knows people and they know her.

Like Sarah said: insane.

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She can lie here and it would be so easy, but she's struck knowing that the way this island operates, it will hurt her. So instead of lying, she'll only unleash a half truth. "My son." She manages a tight smile. "Who isn't here." It's for the best, she tells herself every day, it's safer for him, but it's torture for her.

"Do you want something to drink? I can just get Trixa to bring us something. The perks of working here means I do know the tricks of the trade," she jokes, trying to take the conversation off what she's just told him.

Painful subject. It would be. He doesn't like to think of Veronica not being around.

"Sure," he said. "Coming here even on a night off, huh? They really do have the market cornered."

"Well, it's this or the Hub. As progressive as I like to think I am, I still can't do the jazz club, knowing it's under a strip club." Call her old-fashioned like that. "So here, are you a PI here, too?" It's personal curiosity as much as it's protection.

Just in case something happens. Just in case she's going to be found out one day.

"Not that much call for it," he said. "I guess I could sit outside that strip club with a camera and relive the old days, but it'd look kind of weird without a client, y'know? No, I'm IPD."

She leans forward, elbows on the table, as a delighted smirk comes over her face. "Everyone needs a hobby," she gets out before the absurdity of her own words comes to haunt her and she grimaces, offering a pained groan. "I'm sorry. It's been a while since I've done this."

And she really, really hopes this doesn't go in the vein of her last few attempts at normality. Especially the route of Andy Goode.

"Hey, that was fine," Keith said, shaking his head reassuringly. "I mean, I think, I don't have a lot to compare it to-" this was by way of a teasing joke, he hoped he pulled it off, "- it's been a while for me, too. Let's just give ourselves permission to be terrible at this, how about that? No judgment."

She smiles, but it almost seems a bit wary. She's a bit wary of this whole thing and she almost wants someone like Derek to sit the next table over and hiss at her about how stupid she's being. Some things, Sarah still hasn't learned. "Okay, but I'm holding you to that," she warns, smiling with something like blessed relief. "Would this be when I admit to my love of pageant-show taxidermy?"

She even pulls off a straight face, right until the end.

Keith grinned. "And then I pull out my stuffed ferret from under the chair," he agreed. "It's fate!"

Almost without thinking, Sarah smiles and says, "There's no fate but what we make." And then she realizes what she's done and clears her throat. "At least, that's something I've heard people say. I always liked it."

"It's a good line," Keith agreed, nodding. "Deep and catchy. I was always more of a 'control your own destiny' kind of guy, anyway."

"I just don't like thinking that our lives are planned out for us," she said, focusing on her silverware and arranging it with careful fingers so she could avoid looking up as she spoke. "That no matter what we do, we're bound to one path and can't change things."