knowthyexits | (no subject)

It's difficult to avoid the clinic when she has a doctor at her disposal and she needs to verify that her treatment hasn't gone on a collision course to nowhere. She's made her appointment and is now hovering around the clinic as she waits for Rory to get in, her head bent low. She's treated her wrist by herself, patched up the wounds as best as she can, but it's not her physical being that she's concerned about.

An entire restaurant's worth of people heard her being called Sarah Connor.

There's not much wiggle room when it comes to escaping that accusation. She might as well abandon her alias, at this point, because her worst fears have come to pass and there's nowhere that she can run. She could go to the second island, but she needs to treat the cancer and it's difficult to do that, there. It's terrifying, but there's a chance that Sarah may need to suck it up, face her fears, and simply live as the woman she actually is.

She adjusts her hold on her forearm, deciding to leave that particularly delightful existential crisis for later, when she's not waiting for the ramifications of the attack to come falling down around her ears.

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"I'm sorry, this is all about sex?" she echoes, giving him an incredulous look that borders half on being severely pissed off. She shakes her head, trying to get the surprise to fade away because this is not what she was expecting the issue to be about. "Look, I get pragmatism. I do. And I'm not saying you need to come around. I'm just saying that if you ever need anything, I'll be there. I'll be better at helping if you need a second person to wield a gun, but I'd...I'd try if it was anything else."

That said, though, she needs to put some distance between them herself. She'd though...well, she'd thought it was about more than just...she doesn't even want to think about it.

It wasn't about sex, not really, the sex just happened to be the really inconvenient part. Surely she had to understand that for a guy my age, it was better to have the distance there than to let something develop and then try to resist. That was just dangerous, and I wasn't going to do it.

I sighed. "I know all that, Sarah. I've known that for a long time. I'm just telling you why I act like I don't know what the fuck I want, that's all."

"Okay," she says in reply, giving him a look of understanding. "Cal, okay," she promises, because if nothing else, she wants him to know that. "Look, I've lived through too much shit to get too emotional about this," she admits. "But better said than festering. So, okay, and I'm glad you're okay and I'm fine. I'll be fine," she corrects herself because right now, she's not.

She's injured and she has to pick a chemo treatment and she's lost the safety net of her cover, but she'll be fine. She has to be because it's the only thing she's ever known in perseverance.