knowthyexits: (in pain: by chthonicons)
Sarah Connor ([personal profile] knowthyexits) wrote2011-05-26 09:00 am
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[Cal]

Judgment Day has come and passed and the sky still holds, not lit with fire, and every human being remains free. It brings Sarah a kind of relief in that she knows that the fight is continuing at home and maybe, just maybe, it means they've succeeded. It also means that Sarah has nothing left to fight here unless something shows up.

Correction -- she has nothing to fight but the disease inside her body, threatening to take her apart and render her weak. Ellie is gone, now so is George. It's been weeks since she's seen anyone and she's been starting to feel dizzy and weak. Her appetite is gone, she can't sleep, and she spends most of her time feeling like she's weak. She knows that she should see someone, but her trust has already been eroded by two disappearances.

She doesn't even want to consider a third.

Still, it's one of those days where even she and her stubbornness can't make it to the Winchester. She hopes that Neil doesn't mind too much, but she's confined to bed, staring at the ceiling as her thoughts turn to home and John. Her John, her baby boy. He must have stopped the end days from coming or at least pushed it off. No matter what's happened, she knows that she can be proud. Even if she won't be around to see the majority of the battle, she knows he's ready.

She lets out a small sound of effort as she sits up, hand to her forehead, and thinks about trying for some food. It's been a full day since she's even attempted, but she hasn't been anywhere near hungry enough. Maybe it's a symptom -- maybe she'd know if she would only see someone, but her stubbornness prevents her from taking on anyone new.
dichotomos: (023)

[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-05-26 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
There are very few things that I do which are subtle, and the knock upon Sarah's front door was definitely not one of them. I did not call out her name first nor politely rap upon the wood. I practically rattled the thing off the hinges hitting it with the side of my fist.

She hadn't been at work, and things hadn't been right with her for awhile. I'm not talking about the cancer, now, I'm talking about in the head. It was easy enough to see that she was thinking about just giving up, and that was something I just did not get. Not from Sarah.
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[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-05-27 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
"Jesus Christ," I exhaled as I took her in. I'd never seen her look so bad, and to be completely honest, it scared the shit out of me. Moving without thinking, I reached for her and had her swept up into my arms before she could launch one of her famous protests. I never was great with impulse control.

"That's it, we're going to the clinic." With as much as I fucking hated doctors, I sure seemed to be carrying Sarah to see them a lot.
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[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-05-31 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
"You know, it's funny. All this time, I thought you were a grown woman," I replied with a scoff, the relentless pounding of Sarah's fists eliciting little more than a barely perceptible wince. "Maybe if you took care of yourself like an adult, people like me wouldn't have to come around and force you into it. It's amazing how well logic works when you actually apply it."
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[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-05-31 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"What the fuck happened to that five whole years is a long time line you were feeding me?" I asked, my brow knitting as I frowned. "And you know what? Fuck you, I wouldn't do the same thing. I might be lazy, but my brother didn't raise me to stop fighting just because shit gets a little hard." I hefted her a bit closer. "You're Sarah Connor, for Christ's sake. You stare down killer robots without flinching, and you're just going to lay down and take this? That's bullshit."
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[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-06-01 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
Fuck. There was a lot in this world (and many others) that I was equipped to deal with. Sarah Connor all but crying on me was not one of them.

Biting back a curse, I carried her over to a downed log that had been pushed just off the main pathway and sat down, settling her in my lap so that I could slide my arm from beneath her knees and push back her hair. "Yes," I said, a warm murmur against her temple. "I do." My whole fucking life I'd been fighting, even when beating my own nature was an impossibility. Stopping simply wasn't an option.

"Look at me," I said, leaning back enough that I could splay my hand across her jaw and tip her head back. "I know this is hard. I know you're tired. I know." I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. "But I fucking love you, and I'm not going to let you just give in to this. We'll do it together if we have to, but I'm not going to watch you let this thing beat you. Understand?"
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[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-06-01 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
"Then we'll find someone who you like," I said, gray eyes fixed on hers, fiercely trying to ignore that she'd said it back. "There are like a hundred doctors on this rock, there's got to be someone who will work. I fucking hate doctors, but I'll go with you if that's what you want. And you're not dying, stop saying that. We have five years to fix this, we're going to fix it."
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[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-06-01 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
"I know you're sick," I said, but my voice was low, petulant. "That's the point of this whole exercise. You actually doing something about it." Jaw flexing, I looked away. Life was so much easier when I stuck to the basics of human emotion and didn't get mired in all this caring bullshit. It never, ever worked out well for me, not in my whole goddamned life, but there was no escaping the way those fingers felt in my hair.

My eyes fell closed a moment and then turned back to Sarah. I still don't know how the fuck she snuck in, but she definitely had. Hand against her neck, I leaned in and pressed my mouth to hers. I knew better, but I'd never been very good at impulse control.
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[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-06-01 01:11 am (UTC)(link)
I had a ready quip to sling back to that, something about how I expected her to know since she had a kid and all, but I couldn't spit it out. I couldn't brush this off like I was some kind of pimp who was banging chicks 24-7. She knew me too well to buy it.

"Fuck, I don't know," I replied, looking anywhere but at Sarah and doing my damnedest to ignore the way my treacherous body was clamoring for more. It had been a long time since I'd been laid.
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[personal profile] dichotomos 2011-06-01 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
Say what you will about denial, but it definitely had its uses. There were few moments in my life I'd been as relieved as I was just then, to discover that apparently Sarah was willing to act as if I'd not just had my lips on her.

I ignored the hand and stood on my own in one quick, smooth motion. "Good plan," I said, and nodded her onward as I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my jeans.