knowthyexits: (contemplative: by ?)
Sarah is starting to think that she's going to do something very stupid soon.

She's supposed to be going to a music hall with Coulson and she's milling around an avenue filled with shops and peeking in the windows of clothing stores and wondering if she's supposed to be getting dressed up and if she does have to get dressed up, she needs to find something. Or? Or she could not show up.

That would be terrible though, and she's not perceiving any kind of threat that would make her bolt, so this is nerves talking and Coulson has made it clear that they're not going on any kind of date, so why the hell is she nervous, god damn it.
knowthyexits: (defend yourself: by chthonicons)
She's exhausted, but if she stops moving, Sarah knows she's going to have to think about what's happened in the last week and if she does that, it brings her back to the feelings of loss and the feelings of grief that she's terrible at processing. She's been serving at the Winchester since it happened, only goes home to sleep and feed the dog, but keeps going, otherwise.

As it stands, her shift has been over for hours, but she's still there -- at the bar, with a glass of Scotch in her hands that she's not sure she even wants to drink. Mostly, she wants something to blame, but there's no way to do that here because it's not the fault of machines or fate that Cal is gone.

There is no fate but what they make. Maybe she's contributed, helped to lead them down this road? Maybe she should just accept that some things happen and they can't be stopped -- but that implies that she can't stop the impending apocalypse, that implies that she's useless and Sarah refuses to accept that as a truth. Still, here, in the bar, she pretends that she can control what she feels. She pretends that it doesn't wreck her inside to know that someone she loves is gone. Kyle is gone, Andy Goode is dead, Charley is gone and remarried.

She always had John, though.

Now, she doesn't even have him. That's the thought that drives her to drink back the alcohol, summoning another with a muted request.
knowthyexits: (family of warriors: by ?)
As far as family gatherings go, Sarah is more accustomed to the ones where they band together to try and fight off a malevolent force trying to steal her son from her very arms. As far as Thanksgiving goes, Sarah only has fond memories of the holiday as a little girl, and not very good ones, at that. Her father had always been fighting wars -- whether a real one or one in his mind -- and it didn't make for good conversation over a turkey.

As it stands, she's aware that this sad little event isn't much, but with so many tumultuous changes in her life in the last year, she feels compelled to try. She's put away the most offensive of all her weapons and made her small two-room hut into something amenable and safe. She's put a fowl on the table -- roasted and basted, as best as you can a bird you don't understand -- and added potatoes, vegetables, and a pie on top of that.

Inviting people had been harder. With the constant need for a wig, now, Sarah feels as though she's more inclined to duck away and hide until the world falls away, but in order to actually host a Thanksgiving, she needs to bring people to her door. She does so as she trades in shifts at the Winchester for wine, telling those she loves (and some she tolerates) the most about the event and she makes sure to have enough food, just in case.

Maybe she doesn't have that much to give thanks about, but she's alive and she has friends. It's better than she expected -- given that the sky was supposed to be on fire, by now. It's enough to throw a get-together and be thankful about.

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Sarah Connor

May 2014

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